All across the meadows, many poppies blossomed, and that were so hypnotic and brilliant in color they nearly dazzled Dorothy's eyes. "Aren't they beautiful?" the girl asked her companions, as she breathed in the spicy scent of the big, bright flowers.
They now came upon more and more of the big scarlet flowers until they found themselves in the midst of a great meadow carpeted with nothing but poppies. Now, in the magical Land of Oz, it is a well known fact that when there are many of these flowers together their odor and fragrance is so strong and so powerful, that anyone who breathes it in instantly begins to fall asleep, and if the sleeper is not carried away from the deadly scent of the blossoms, they sleep on and on forever and ever until their dying day. But Dorothy, just a little girl from Kansas, did not know this, nor could she get away from the bright red flowers that were everywhere about; so presently as she walked on her eyes grew very heavy, and soon she felt she must sit down to rest and to even sleep.
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900)
We all have our individual yellow brick roads, and our own stifling field of poppies. What's yours? How long did it last? Were you just asleep or did you destroy? [Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous?]
Backtrack to the beginning of that brick road. Maybe to when those foundations were being laid down. Some loupe was created where you taught yourself not to feel emotion. Maybe to process that something negative was happening, but not to actually feel it. Because that level of emotion would have been too much for someone so young. It could've been some type of trauma. It could've been having to hold things together and be the glue for someone (or pl.) you care about.
And how do we not feel emotion? We distract ourselves. It would be great to find distraction via something real with roots that needs nourishment, and ultimately grows, but most of us like things easy. And the easiest thing is instant gratification.
Substance (cigarettes, drugs, alcohol), sex, food, exercise, gambling, consumerism/image, work, and love. Pick your vice. Or be dynamic and go through waves of each. Kendrick/RiRi ask who are you loyal to? Because it is these vices that become our fallbacks any time we want to fool our minds and sink away, disappear instead of having to process what is our reality. We make these addictive neural pathways so that we don't have to face our traumas, our sadness, and our insecurities.
We move out of our consciousness into a sub- state of mind. A numbness. And after the numbness you have to crawl back up to equilibrium. So each time the crawl gets more difficult, the high gets lower, the low gets lower.. withdrawal patterns form, defence mechanisms get activated.. we become slaves to the pathways we have created in our own minds. We become slaves to superficial things, or unrealised concepts. Is it really pure if your motivations come from a dark place? [if a flower bloomed in a dark room would you trust it?] That is the question when it comes to things like love, health, and work ethic. I don't know the answer.
I just know that until you rewire that addictive pathway in your brain, you are stuck in that recurring dream. It might be a field of poppies one night and something else on another, but it is the same dream. Until you have the courage to face the low of what you are avoiding, cold turkey, you will always be a slave.
And what will happen when life hits you hard with the 'big bad wolf' of adversity? Will your house of silicone or your house of protein hold you up? How about your house of weed or your fancy ass mansion? They're all gonna get knocked down. Instead of going deeper into that vortex, trying to invest more and more into that same material, getting your next hit that will be a bandaid for your pain (or indeed a gossamer acting as a flimsy veil shielding you from your own reflection), is not the answer to find a different material? Build a home with proper foundations, out of figurative 'brick'?
Deal with reality by elevating yourself to a higher consciousness. Whether it be through organised religion, or spirituality in all it's forms (including a non-labelled connection with a higher power). All these belief systems engage in a form of meditation. One that allows you to leave the situation and not fall into negative patterns of behaviour or thought, and re-enter it being present: ie examining what is really in front of you, and not getting triggered subconsciously by experiences from your past.
I'm trying to leave my own poppy field. Not drown through stagnation, rather, swim to the pearl, take it, and keep moving. Realising that many things are a choice. Engaging in certain aspects of society and culture is a choice.
Going back to my Kendrick/Khalil Gibran mash-up, loyalty to all these addictions are just invisible self-imposed fetters. Chains from your mind that limit you in the physical world. There's only one type of loyalty that creates freedom.